"Eden was paradise, though we couldn't have known it."
-- Benjamin Gorman
though we couldn't have known it
every bite of grass or insect
every drop of clear rain to drink
every puddle or dirt pile to get clean in
every melody from our throats
was somehow our own miracle
base creations, simple creatures
we existed as more than
steps on an evolutionary ladder
of which we could not even conceive:
we were, every one of us,
brilliant, perfect reflections
of the chance, or love,
that brought us into
being
and all the memories
of all the centuries
we've lived, bred,
died and rebirthed
have gathered in the notes
that fly from us, the songs
we teach, still unconscious
to our young
Comments
Benjamin Gorman
February 28, 2012
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Ah!
I had to re-read this. The first time through, I ignored the title, or didn't think it literal. I was thinking you meant us, the people. Aside from a few oddities (bites of grass??), it actually works fairly well! And of course you may well have meant the reader to expand their thinking in that way. Very nice work.
Jennifer Dixey
February 28, 2012
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bites of grass
An allusion to Whitman, perhaps? :) I'm thinking of changing the title to When We Were Birds ... that's what it was originally. But I liked the present-tense setting of the last stanza so I carried that into the title. Lots to think about but I think this might be the seed (ha!) of a good poem. Thanks for the idea.